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Waffling
Few scoundrels notice the lack of maple syrup on their waffles. They've got gobs of green goo all over them. They eventually forget that waffles need special sauce. If you purchase any molasses, use diligence in choosing the brand. Aunt Martha said she tried sorghum, but Uncle Cletus rebelled. He threatened to serve honey on hers. Auntie's temper, vile as ever bubbled up when he poured it onto a stack of Belgian treats. Waving spiffy jugs of syrup overhead caused her sister to hyperventilate. Syrup glugged onto the floor, causing Uncle Cletus stress as sticky, slippery goo upended! Such shenanigans! Why waffles?
How maple syrup enhances waffles is mysterious! Perhaps sap improves mood. Or boiling. Whichever, it does improve something in the end. Cream corn batter! MMmmmm-mmm Fritters! Apple dumplings fried in lard! Hooray for lard! My favorite variety of lard deep-fries Omaha Steaks! Then we eat them with extra lard for digestibility! Butter also works wonders! We prefer diesel flavored oils, and refine them via distillation.
Waffles need coaxing to get them to exude buttery goodness. Nobody really satisfies like Mrs Butterworth, but she demanded better wages. She figured that we could give 50 cents to her